So I don’t know who else struggles with this but I always feel bad doing something for myself. Or buying myself clothes that actually fit. Or getting help cleaning the house.
We have lived in our house for 5 years. The first 3 years I did a fairly good job keeping up with the every day mess. However deep cleaning just isn’t my thing. I’m not sure it’s anyone’s thing, except my Mom’s 🤣. The last two years even cleaning normally on a regular basis has been a struggle. I was stuck in this horrible cycle of needing to clean but not having the energy to clean, then feeling anxious and shitty because the house wasn’t clean.
Side note: everyone’s clean is different. My expectations for a clean house are rather high because my Mom loves to clean so things were always very very clean growing up. For example, if you had a drink of water and set your cup down, then wanted another drink ten minutes later, your cup was nowhere to be found. It had already been cleaned up 🤣. She’s like a tiny little cleaning ninja.
So anyway, I’m sure some people didn’t think my house was dirty but I promise you it was. The baseboards and windows…disgusting. The floors needed mopped in the worst way. And let’s not even discuss the bathroom in our bedroom. It always got the lowest priority because no one uses it but us.
Week after week my anxiety got worse and worse. I felt so weighed down by all this mess and dirt. But, I also felt like I should find the time and energy to do it myself. Why is that a thing? Why is getting help looked down upon? I finally couldn’t take it any longer. We had a little extra money this month so I “selfishly” hired a cleaning company to deep clean the house.
Today I can breathe. Things are clean I didn’t even know were dirty. The stove, which I pretty much thought was stained forever, looks brand new!
Shelves are organized, the ceiling fans are dusted, and the baseboards are shining. Our bathroom is the cleanest it’s ever been. I should have done this months ago.
If you need something for yourself and your mental health, it is not selfish. Self care is important. Think of it this way, you will be better for everyone around you if you are in a healthy mental state. I will have so much time for my girls this week. Time I would have spent trying to catch up on my subpar cleaning.
We are currently outside and nothing is occupying my thoughts other than enjoying the amazing fall weather with my babies.
A burden has been lifted. One I knew was weighing on me, but I had no idea just how heavy it had become.
Today is a new and much cleaner day!
Mornings With Mama 